Tuesday, October 29, 2002
      ( 11:41 AM )   by David Barker  

Makes Perfect Sense To Me

please oh please oh please, visit i used to believe, 'a collection of childhood beliefs'. It's wonderful...

Just a sample, from the category Time;

"Because I heard my parents referencing 15 minutes after the hour as "a quarter after"... and I knew that a quarter was 25 cents... I used to believe that "a quarter after five" was 5:25." From one Dawson McKay.


Saturday, October 26, 2002
      ( 1:26 PM )   by David Barker  

21 Rules for Halloween

By email from my friend Anneli, but I will happily credit the appropriate source of this, on sufficient proof.

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

51. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to he nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.

A quick google shows this list to be posted over 500 times as, variously, "Rules To Survive Scary Films", "Things we should have learned by now from watching horror movies", or "A Horror Movie Character's Survival Guide". Personally I find it fascinating that so many people could have come up with such similar lists. I would think something like this, while anecdotal, would lend some credence to Jung's theory of the common sub-consciousness. I'm going to discuss this with a self-taught Victorian era scientist that I know and see if he has any experiments in mind we could do to test this. Oh, I know what you're thinking, but don't worry. Modern Science has come a long way. Absolutely nothing can go worng.


Sunday, October 20, 2002
      ( 2:47 PM )   by David Barker  

Truth, Reality, Veracity, Honesty. Whatevvurrr.

The (ahem) Whitehouse. Seriousfully, faithful readers. Courtesy of my friend Anneli, an actual teacher.


A quick search reveals that is owned by the same owner as, whose homepage is merely an enigmatic 'we'll be seeing you soon.'

Shades of the Trilateral Commission. Which really exists. And would engage in just such an attempt to mock the White House in order to draw attention away from - glack - what! - no! NO! Aaaaargh!



Saturday, October 19, 2002
      ( 11:52 AM )   by David Barker  

Read this first please, if you haven't already. Thanks.

Is Nothing Sacred? Very Little.

This is
Am I Right?. Their slogan is "Making fun of music. One song at a time..."

And I couldn't have said it better myself

!!! seems to have disappeared!! /!!!


Wednesday, October 16, 2002
      ( 11:22 AM )   by David Barker  

An Open Letter To The Onion

Dear The Onion,

My name is David Barker. I am some guy. I believe that I am 'some guy' enough for my picture to be used as the author in one of your made-up satirical articles or parodic op-ed pieces as a drug addict, homosexual or local sleazy politician with a serious opinion expressed in a non-deliberately self-mocking manner.

Boilerplate Special: Image totally copyright by dmo (debbie,to the right, under links) throughout all time and all space; reproduction prohibited by any means yet invented by humanity or otherwise, including technologies in existence in other advanced non-human alien cultures even if in another galaxy or wherever, no ifs, ands or buts

As well, may I point out those six people who are always in 'What Do You Think' with different names all the time (but they're the same people; did you think nobody notices?) might want to retire or get their pictures back. You could use my picture there too, perhaps as a guest 'What Do You Thinker', rotating with the regulars to give them some time off. I could even supply you with a list of different names that sound normal but have built-in humour, like 'Doug Attic' or 'Doug Dieler' or 'Doug Perry Phernalia'. I like the name Doug.

Even though I am Canadian, you could even 'accidentally' publish my picture with a caption about President Bush and then later publish a correction, either with the President's picture or a caption about me. As you can see, a picture of me in your files could be used many different ways to give The Onion a different flavour (pun intended) from time to time.

I would do this for free because I like reading The Onion and it would look good under 'Volunteer Work' on my resume since you perform some kind of public service.

Yours sincerely,

David Barker

Tuesday, October 15, 2002
      ( 1:40 PM )   by David Barker  

Eyes Too Slow For Uploading; Just Give Me Socket In Brain (weren't we supposed to be able to do that already, come to think of it?)

This is The World eBook Library. Hell, there's books here by people I never even heard of before, that's how good it is!

The have links for different versions in different formats on different sites, from Gutenberg's flat text ftp versions of various works to what is essentially an online facsimile edition of E. Nesbitt's 'The Story of the Amulet' (one of my favourites) with the original illustrations at the Victorian Women Writers Project Library at the University of Indiana. This last one is captioned as being 'machine readable'.

There's a lot here. God, I love this shit.


      ( 12:35 PM )   by David Barker  

Read this first please, if you haven't already. Thanks.

24 Hours is One Television Show, But It Takes Six Months To Watch It

So, many postings ago, I mentioned the '24' TV series DVD. Well, my friend Reid got it from my friend Michael (who is also Reid's step-greatson at-law) for his birthday recently. Then this past weekend, Canadian Thanksgiving, Reid and his whole family went away.

They offered to let me pretend to housesit, and I pretended to accept. I was able to watch the first five hours almost uninterrupted. Wow. What a nicely done series.

One aspect I particularly liked was the use of multiple frames on the screen, usually different shots of people in the same scene, but from different angles. They might be combined on the screen in different rectangular shapes, and the eye is constantly jumping from one to the other. One example might be two people arguing while a third person is watching. We see the two people in two frames and the third person is seen over one the other's shoulder as she watches. The person's shoulder is out-of-focus but obviously one of our arguers', and a definite focus-drawer.

Often, too, the multiple frames idea is used on a return from commercial (absent in the DVD of course, but the transition is necessarily there). A series of frames comes up on the screen with different characters in the last scene we saw them, or where we might expect them to be, by way of reminder, and by way of teaser. We see them all, and are led to wonder which one we will focus on in the coming scene.


Thursday, October 10, 2002
      ( 3:31 PM )   by David Barker  

Maybe Somethin' To That Star Wars Soundtrack After All, Ma

I was listening to 'Duel of the Fates' from Phantom Menace, a tune that really gets to me, so I thought, 'Hey, Dave. Yo, Dave. Dayvid! Hullo, do you think that the vocals are really words?'

And so here is a nice story from - ahem - The Domain of Mara Jade. Too nice to make me want to verify it.

"Lyrics for Duel of the Fates

Korah Matah Korah Rahtahmah Korah Rahtamah Yoodhah Korah Korah Syahdho Rahtahmah Daanyah Korah Keelah
Daanyah Nyohah Keelah Korah Rahtahmah Syadho Keelah Korah Rahtahmah Korah Daanyah Korah Rahtahmah Korah
Daanyah Korah Rahtahmah Nyohah Keelah Korah Rahtahmah Syadho Keelah Korah Rahtahmah Korah Korah Matah Korah
Rahtahmah Korah Daanyah Korah Rahtahmah Nyohah Keelah Korah Rahtahmah Syadho Keelah Korah Rahtahmah Korah

Williams used one line from Robert Grave's translation of an old Celtic poem, "Cad Goddeu" ("Battle of the Trees"): "Under the
tongue root a fight most dread, and another raging, behind, in the head". He then had the phrase translated into different
languages. Williams liked the version in Sanskrit, an old Indian language, best, and decided to use it for the score. "

Tuesday, October 08, 2002
      ( 4:07 PM )   by David Barker  

Still on Live365

Getting back to Live365 for a minute...I just found a trio of stations that are movie soundtracks. They are provided by Lights Out Entertainment, which appears to be a less cerebral Internet Movie DataBase. Still kinda cool...

The stations are The Lost Highway, The Epic and The Creeps, capital thes intentional. They are basically what they sound like, if your imagination works (except for The Lost Highway, which is 'dramatic and miscellaneous scores'), otherwise click on the Lights Out link above.

Last coupla minutes I've been listening to stuff from Braveheart, LOTR:FOTR and now Terminator 2. It's great background noise for studying or creating.

Will report back later, fans.

Monday, October 07, 2002
      ( 3:41 PM )   by David Barker  

Books Online Are Getting Better and Better

This is another online literature site; Blackmask. There are a great many different types of ebooks here in different downloadable formats, like Ms-Reader, Acrobat, Rocket eBook, Zipped format, iSilo and Mobipocket. I don't know what all those are but I will soon enough. The selections include three Agatha Christies and among other curiosities, 'Atlantis: The Antediluvian World' by Ignatius Donnelly, and, of all things, 1984. Huh.

      ( 1:58 PM )   by David Barker  

What Don't These Darn Machines Do? (And They Already Do That In Japan)

Well, I just have to recommend Live365. It's a good streaming audio service like others out there, I'm sure. You sign up for free and get to keep a list of presets, which are the 'stations' you prefer to listen to. Right now I have 1 classical, 1 swing, 1 80s generally and 1 80s New Wave specifically. Sometimes the connections are maxed out and you can't connect, but just wait a bit or do a search on something similar.

Since lately I've been doing most of my surfing and research (I do too, I have recently learned how to spell CSS) at the Toronto Reference Library (our main branch), having a soundtrack, especially the types I picked (psychologically good for me) is handy and positively reinforcing.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002
      ( 10:30 AM )   by David Barker  

Read this first please, if you haven't already. Thanks.

And next thingy it is!

It's Not Big Brother. It Walks and Talks Like Big Brother, But It's On Our Side. We're the Good Guys.

From my friend Reid's blog, via another friend Harald's blog, this is Spin of the Day, "daily reporting on public relations, propaganda and media spin.'

Spin of the Day is a child of PR Watch, 'Public Interest Reporting on the PR/Public Affairs Industry', which is itself 'a project of the Center for Media and Democracy', which is 'a nonprofit, public interest organization funded by individuals and nonprofit foundations and dedicated to investigative reporting on the public relations industry'.

Browsing the above led me to Spinsanity, 'the nation's leading watchdog of manipulative political rhetoric'.

God, this shit is boring. Not.

One of the things I love about the web is the sheer volume of information, good and bad. And I'm fully aware how subjective both those words are. I don't actually have much interest in usenet groups or chats because my early experience of them was totally negative.
And just because it's information on the Web doesn't make it valuable information. Like democracy, it's the worst way to do what it does, except for all the rest.

I guess the Information can be viewed as Facts and Opinions. Facts are verifiable by other means. {still editing}


Not pessimized for Netscape 4.7 (it's personal)

(move your mouse pointer over this text)

(all links open in a new window)

     post rating:

      - 'i haven't felt so alive in years '
           - 23 out of 10
           - I really do have to get the damn book!
my future blog :
          - the barker kid

my resume :
          - CV

my friends :
          - reid and luisa
          - martin
             100% personal
                  website free

          - tim, anneli & alicia
             100% personal
                  website free

                  google them
          - debbie ohi
              electric penguin
          - miguel sternberg

places i visit:
          - wil wheaton dot net
          - the onion
          - this is cnn
          - the toronto star
          - w3 schools
              web learning; xml,
              html4, xhtml
          - APoD
          - IMDb
          - SoundtrackCollector
          - No Es News, Es Fark
          - Blackmask!
        - kenner's girder and panel building set!


just sayin' it don't make it so...

Powered by Blogger, and bless'em for it