barkerland
Friday, September 19, 2003
      ( 8:56 AM )   by David Barker  

I Guess I Should Mention How Cool PHP Is. I Should Have Before, So Here. So There.

Thanks to Reid (q.v.) I've been able to start learning php on his server. I've been an HTML and VB hobby programmer for years and always wanted to be able to do something programmatically intelligent serverside - more powerful and private - to match up with javascript (not vbscript, it always has to be installed, and I don't even know if Netscape or the other browsers will process it...).

Reid gave me an account and diskspace a while back and finally I started to use it (among other things, reformatting my blogspot future blog, the barker kid,). He casually mentioned I could feel free to try out php. I thought 'yeah, that's Linux, I don't know Linux, I can't even spell it, so how the hell can I learn php. ' I did.

Then, I started looking at it, and thought 'this is pretty much what I've been looking for'.

So I thought 'start with the easy stuff, positive reinforcement stuff, boolean return values of positive (or negative if negative is positive, you get it)'. I started with the file functions. Easy.

Then I got ambitious. Uploading a local file to the server. Gotta be complex, tricky, lots of settings that if you don't get exactly right, it will fail catastrophically, causing the server to crash in Scarborough and buses to crash in Etobicoke. I swear to God and kid you not, it worked the very first time! And here's the thing of it, I didn't believe it had actually worked, even though the file with the correct name and with the right byte-size was in the right place. And I could download and view it. (You see, I was so used to learning VB on my own, and having almost nothing work like it was supposed to, even if you copied the sample code exactly, having to learn what not to do by analyzing the error messages, which, God bless Microsoft for the backwards blessing, were often quite detailed and comprehensive. I still think of programming classes in VB as what not to do. Like childhood and geopolitics, I guess.)

So anyway, back to file uploading. I had access to both Netscape 7 and Explorer 6, so I set up scenarios to prove that the file upload hadn't actually worked - still reading the local file or something - , because I truly did not believe it had! Well, long story short, it had.

One big interest is security (job is Nortel PBX, voice-mail and call-centre management software programming and administration) so I started looking at php sessions. Learned cookies along the way, and felt that getting sessions nailed was like Paul on the road to Damascus, only this revelation was neither blinding nor irrelevant. But damnably exciting.

Reid was quite helpful along the way. He even told me I'd actually end up learning a subset of Perl, which gasted my flabber, let me tell you. Hasn't happened yet. My php is still like me trying to speak German in Vienna. I haven't spoken it since high school, I learned German German, from a professor who was Dutch - so I probably had a Dutch accent, and while I can probably find the bathroom (positive reinforcement, remember), I can't discuss Hegel or Goethe. Hell, I can barely pronounce Goethe. So there you go.

So now I'm on to writing HTML and javascript on the fly, spontaneous purpose-rigged, situation dependent feeds to the client. And there's CSS, XML, database access via MySQL, delightfully sophisticated array manipulation functions, time/date functions that make me want to - never mind.

Hurray for php! Hurray for Reid! Hurray for me!




And hurray for Talk Like A Pirate Day! And true to the spirit of the day, I cut and pasted that link and its HTML from the view-source of Wil Wheaton's wilwheaton dot net (q.v).

Swabs, planks, scurvy, yoho, ahoy, treasure chests, doubloons, grog, "Treasure Planet" (q.v.!) , damsels in distress, damsels in dat dress, Johnny Depp in dat coiffure, a privateer, a buccaneer ("How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?") ! Long John Silver, Sir Francis Drake, Captain Kidd, Ching Yih Saou, Blackbeard, "Blackbeard's Ghost" (q.v.), Jacquotte Delahaye, the Pittsburgh Pirates, woohoo, the list is endless!





 




Wednesday, September 17, 2003
      ( 9:09 AM )   by David Barker  

Because My Friends Are Sometimes Right. That's Why.

I would like to plug BitPass, a new web goods and services micropayment site. I read about it on my friend Reid's blog, and thought, hey, this is cool.

Then another friend, Peter, posted an interesting comment and opinion.

I think BitPass deserves some free publicity. Check out the various links highlighted in Peter's comment.

"Fight The Evil Power!"

(That is a quote, relevant here for various reasons, from the Chinpokomon episode of 'South Park', which, if you don't like it, well, you should probably go back to church, because you've just been tempted by Satan...)
 




Thursday, September 11, 2003
      ( 11:21 AM )   by David Barker  
I'm just going to repeat my post of a few days ago. Peace.


The Best Way To Remember September 11, 2001. I Hope Jeff And Gail Don't Mind Me Saying It This Way.

On Thursday, September 11, Megan Keiko K. will be two years old.

Happy birthday, you charmin' l'il gal!

(And to Megan's big sister, Jennifer K., I don't know when your birthday is, but 'Happy Birthday' to you too, when it rolls round again. Remind me!)
 




Tuesday, September 09, 2003
      ( 9:19 AM )   by David Barker  

Leni Reifenstahl Has Died At 101. Never Saw Even One Of Her Films

A few years ago I saw a two part biographical documentary on her. It played two Sunday nights (really Monday mornings...) in a row. It was fascinating and sad.

What she had to say about her films, how she refused to admit - even to consider - that they might have been used as propaganda, when she claims they hadn't been produced as such. I guess it's old hat - maybe trite - to say that anything can be used as both a tool and a weapon, literally and metaphorically.

Well, I guess I have to see her movies now.

And keeping things in perspective, according to BBC online news, over 11,400 French died in the recent European heat wave.
 




Monday, September 08, 2003
      ( 3:08 PM )   by David Barker  

The Best Way To Remember September 11, 2001. I Hope Jeff And Gail Don't Mind Me Saying It This Way.

On Thursday, September 11, Megan Keiko K. will be two years old.

Happy birthday, you charmin' l'il gal!

(And to Megan's big sister, Jennifer K., I don't know when your birthday is, but 'Happy Birthday' to you too, when it rolls round again. Remind me!)
 




Friday, September 05, 2003
      ( 12:18 PM )   by David Barker  

Lucy Liu Just Announced Her Engagement. Rrrr.

So pop Plan A.

Problem is, I was so sure of Plan A that I didn't bother with a Plan B. Hell, I didn't even call it Plan A. I just thought, you know, 'hey, my numbers gotta come up sooner or later.'

I'll be better prepared next time. I'll create a Plan B, promote it, then come up with a Plan C, promote that, and start the clock again.

Third time lucky.

(Mwahahahaha!)
 




Thursday, September 04, 2003
      ( 3:44 PM )   by David Barker  

William Gibson And I Are Like This! Crosses Fingers, Which Is Also The Sign Of A Lie...

I got this from his blog today. The website is Multibabel, 'Lost in Translation'.

It asks the question,literally, "What happens when an English phrase is translated (by computer) back and forth between 5 different languages?" (Try just cut-and-pasting that question!)

It lets you specify including Japanese, Chinese and Korean. I did.

My input was "Exceptional but derogatory children infest the territory." (Try it with the Doctor Seuss title 'On Beyond Zebra'!)

Translated to Japanese:
例外的でしかし軽蔑的な子供は領域を荒し回す。

Translated back to English:
Being exceptional, but the scorn child devastates the territory and
turns.

Translated to Chinese:
是例外的, 仅轻蔑孩子摧残疆土和转动。

Translated back to English:
Is exceptional, only the despite child devastates the territory and
the rotation.

Translated to Korean:
무례 아이가 영토 및 교체를 유린한다 다만,
좋다 있는다.

Translated back to English:
The impolite child tramples a territory and a shift only, is good, it
is.

Translated to French:
L'enfant impoli piétine un territoire et un décalage seulement, est
bon, il est.

Translated back to English:
The impolite child tramples a territory and a shift only, is good, it
is.

Translated to German:
Das unh?fliche Kind trampelt eine Gegend und nur eine Verschiebung,
ist, es ist gut.

Translated back to English:
The impolite child tramples an area and only a shift, is, it is good.

Translated to Italian:
Il bambino impolite calpesta una zona e soltanto uno spostamento, è,
esso è buono.

Translated back to English:
The impolite child treads on a zone and only a movement, is, it is
good.

Translated to Portuguese:
A criança impolite pisa em uma zona e somente um movimento, é, ele

é bom.

Translated back to English:
The child impolite steps on in a zone and only a movement, is, it is
good.

Translated to Spanish:
Los pasos descorteses del ni?o encendido en una zona y solamente un
movimiento, son, él son buenos.

Translated back to English:
The discourteous steps of the boy ignited in a zone and only a
movement, are, he are good.

Then I used the last English output as the seed for the next cycle and got

Original English Text:
The discourteous steps of the boy ignited in a zone and only a
movement, are, he are good.

Translated to French:
Les étapes discourtoises du garçon mis à feu dans une zone et
seulement un mouvement, sont, il sont bonnes.

Translated back to English:
The discourteous stages of the boy fired in a zone and only one
movement, are, it are good.

Translated to German:
Die discourteous Stadien des Jungen, der in einer Zone und in nur
einer Bewegung gefeuert wird, sind, es sind gut.

Translated back to English:
Discourteous the stages of the boy, who is fired in a zone and in only
one motion, are, it are good.

Translated to Italian:
Discourteous le fasi del ragazzo, che è infornato in una zona ed in
soltanto un movimento, sono, esso sono buone.

Translated back to English:
Discourteous is made of the boy, that it is put into an oven in a zone
and only a movement, is, it is good.

Translated to Portuguese:
Discourteous é feito do menino, isso é posto em um forno em uma zona
e somente um movimento, é, ele é bom.

Translated back to English:
Discourteous is made of the boy, this is rank in an oven in a zone and
only a movement, is, it is good.

Translated to Spanish:
Descortés se hace del muchacho, esto es espeso en un horno en una
zona y solamente un movimiento, es, él es bueno.

Translated back to English:
Discourteous one becomes of the boy, this is thick in a furnace in a
zone and only a movement, is, he is good.


So this sort of thing, along with practically everything anybody can do on the internet is like the technology itself; viz, most of it was quite possible twenty years ago but once thought of, quickly forgotten, because doing it would have required a huge amount of manual effort, time spent in libraries private and public, in long correspondences with experts foreign and domestic, lots of typing or longhand, and tedious things like fact checking, Q&A, spell-checking and god knows what not else.

Not anymore. Almost as soon done as thought of, the willing servant of many masters, a little "genie in a bottle", a little "Sorceror's Apprentice", a little "Shoemaker and the Elves"...

More to come.

Not from me. From the internet...
 





Not pessimized for Netscape 4.7 (it's personal)

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latest www.wilwheaton.net
     post rating:

      - 'i haven't felt so alive in years '
           - 23 out of 10
           - I really do have to get the damn book!
links:
my future blog :
          - the barker kid

my resume :
          - CV

my friends :
          - reid and luisa
          - martin
             100% personal
                  website free

          - tim, anneli & alicia
             100% personal
                  website free

                  google them
          - debbie ohi
              blatherings
              electric penguin
          - miguel sternberg
              neko


places i visit:
          - wil wheaton dot net
          - the onion
          - this is cnn
          - the toronto star
          - w3 schools
              web learning; xml,
              html4, xhtml
          - APoD
          - IMDb
          - SoundtrackCollector
          - No Es News, Es Fark
          - Blackmask!
        - kenner's girder and panel building set!


archives:


just sayin' it don't make it so...

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